A Javanese Wedding, Central Java

A relationship of love women and men, after through the process and consideration, they usually stabilized within a marital relationship, a relationship and living together as husband and wife formally in terms of law, religion and customs.
In Java, as elsewhere, the marriage took place principally due to the mutual decision of two people falling in love. It is a matter of principle. Although there are marriages that occur as matchmaking parents like the old days. They argue by saying: Witing tresno jalaran soko kulino, it means Love to grow as accustomed.

Is traditionally, consideration of acceptance of a suitor by the bibit (seeds), bebet (ancestor) and bobot (weight).
bibit, it means have a good background of family life.
bebet, it means the prospective bride, especially men, are able to meet the needs of the family.

bobot, it has a meaning both prospective bride is a quality, well minded and well educated.
Usually after the two sides agreed to a parent or sibling marriage, then they do the next steps are. 

The nglamar ceremony (proposed), the family of the young man handed over the goods to the girl as peningset (as binder or down payment) consisting of a complete outfit, in Javanese is sandangan sa’pengadek. By the day of the wedding day is held srah-srahan. It means, the brides son handed a wedding gift to the family of the prospective bride in the form of agricultural products, household appliances, some money or sometimes cattle.

A week berfore the wedding day the girl cannot go out (pingitan-she cannot meet with her prospective husband till the wedding day). Every day during this week an old woman rubs oil on her body. This oil has a nice smell. The girl’s skin becomes beautiful and smell sweet. While the old woman is doing this, she also talks to the girl. She teaches her to be a good wife.

On the day before the wedding, the girl has a good bath, in Javanese is siraman. The family bride also sent this basin of water to the family of the groom. The water is called holy water perwitosari, it means essence of life, the water mixed with kind of flowers, which palced in a good container, to be mixed with water to bathe the groom. She sits on some colored piece of jarik (it is a traditional fabric of Central Java) in the bathroom. All the older women in her family take some water out of a very big jug and pour it on her. The water is mixed with flowers. When everybody has poured some water on her, the last woman (an important woman in that place) throws the jug on the floor. The jug breaks. After that the young girls run to get one of the pieces of clothes to keep. If they get a piece of cloth, they will soon find a husband. After the bath the girl stays in her room. Pemaes (traditional bridal makeup) paint her face and comb her hair. From this time she cannot look at herself in the mirror until after the wedding.

In the morning or late in the day, a Ijab (Islamic Manner) ceremony was held to inaugurate the bride that making love in order to legally become husband and wife.

On the wedding day the girl wears a beautiful piece of cloth. The top of her body is covered with a bright piece of cloth. The most important part of the wedding, the meeting of the boy and the girl (midodareni), is usually in the evening. The boy wears the same cloth as the girls. He wears black hat on his head. When the boy arrives at the girl’s house, the girl is led by two old women into the living room. The boy is led by two old men and is followed by his family. He walks towards the girl. When the boy is about three meters from the girl, both the boy and the girl throw some betel leaves (balangan suruh) at one another. When they meet, the boy steps on an egg and the girl washes and dries his foot (ritual wiji dadi). It has a meaning that the girl will follow her husband as long as she lives. Both the boy and the girl now go into the bedroom and here the boy gives the girl presents. When this is done, they both go into the living room again. They then sit on the knees of the girl’s father. The girl’s mother then asks? “Who is heavier?” the father answers, “They both weight the same”. The meaning is, the girl’s parents will take the boy as their own son. After that the bridal couple do sungkem (bend on the knees) the parents of both parties. At first, the parents of the bride and then the parents of the groom. Sungkem (bend on the knees) is a sincere form of respect for parents and elders.

After the marriage ceremony on the whole series was completed. They sit side by side on a beautiful chair, and flanked both sides of parents, looking at the floor. And they received congratulations from the guest. Sometimes, before the reception starts, it held performence of classical Javanese Dance fragment such Pergiwo Gatotkaca or Karonsih Dance, which depicts a loving relationship between women and men.  

from many sources